Hi there! I’m Louisa! If you (like me) have ever been confused by all the conflicting messages given to us about food, you are definitely not alone! After a long time of searching for the best diet for my body, I finally found Nourishing Traditions by Sally Fallon Morrell! Not a diet, not a meal plan, simply nourishing my body! Suddenly, everything made sense! I hope to help you skip all confusion and get straight to the nourishing truth!
5 Fun facts about me
- I live on a 3 acre property in the Pacific Northwest. I have 17 ducks, 4 bunnies, 2 dogs, 5 cats, 6 chickens, 1 guinea pig, and a betta fish named Paul.
- I pretty much eat ice cream every day. Raw milk and egg yolks make the creamiest frozen treat!
- When I was little, I thought that all mailboxes were connected to each other by letter carrying tubes. Mailman who?
- My first job was working as a theater camp counselor. My camp name was “Coral”.
- My ideal day includes a sunny walk, grocery shopping, and cooking up some tacos! Extra cheese please!
- I put butter on or in almost all my foods!
My story
It all started when I learned I was very close to being pre-diabetic as a 14 year old. I knew nothing about food, ate baked goods every single day, and ate out multiple times per week. I felt insecure but I figured it was too late to change, and too hard. I went to the doctor and she told me to cut out rice, and carbs and eat more veggies. After watching some YouTube videos on exercise, I decided to try something. A 30 second plank every day, now this seems like nothing, but it changed everything. I started to get better at it. When I started out I could barely hold proper form, but eventually I could hold it for longer than the 30 seconds! I learned that progress was possible.
I started less white rice and bread and tried to do what I saw as “healthy”. I knew nothing about seed oils or the dangers of processed food. All I knew is sugar bad, veggies good. I tried to eat less fat and carbs more greens. Just like that I started losing weight! Seeing progress was the push I needed. Eventually I was making “healthy” dinners almost every night and exercising 3 times a week! It was great! I still didn’t know what a calorie was. I just assumed since I was cooking from a grain free cookbook, it was healthy and good! But I was still very insecure and terrified almost every moment I would do something to ruin all the “progress” I’d made.
This was when I learned about calories.
This is going to sound crazy.
I had watched a survival show on television. A show where people are dropped in the middle of no where to hunt for themselves and live off nothing but the environment for as long as possible. Most people who go in that show come out looking like skeletons. I figured, if they starve themselves and lose weight so quickly, it must work. I was so insecure in my body and had so many ups and downs. One day I’d feel healthy and happy, and then I’d eat one potato chip, and just like that feel ugly again.
That’s when I decided to eat as little as possible. It didn’t seem like that big of a deal to me. The less you eat the faster you lose weight. I figured the lower I could get my calories the better results I’d have! I didn’t see any danger in it! But what I didn’t realize was the mental whirlpool I was falling down. I didn’t think about my future or what’s healthy and sustainable for the rest of my life. I was blinded by my fear of gaining weight, and so self focused that nothing else mattered.
Who could have known that only a few months later I’d be terrified to eat anything but vegetables and in tears if I ate more than 500 calories. I was so scared of gaining weight, that when I saw the number on the scale decrease every week I was relieved.
Soon I was stuck in the cycle of eating less and less every day, and no one knew. All I heard was “wow you look great!” or “how did you lose all the weight?!” And the real answer to that isn’t “Oh I stared a new diet and exercise plan!” Or “I cut out sugar”.
I don’t want anyone to do what I did.
Yes it worked. Yes it might be easy and quick and effective. But it’s deadly and wrong. To anyone wanting to know how I lost all the weight: I ate 500 calories or less a day, until I was drowning in disordered thoughts and still not happy with my body. I pray every day for my friends and family members struggling with food and wondering what is right. I pray that they would know the truth. I can’t bear the thought of anyone else doing this to themselves. If I could go back in time and tell myself one thing; what I’d say to anyone feeling the way I did, I’d say this:
You don’t need to do this. Jesus loves you. You don’t need to look a certain way to follow him or enjoy his creations. Yes you should take care of yourself, but don’t stress. Live. Go outside, move your body in any way that feels good. Eat food that God made for you. Enjoy it. You are more than a body. You are God’s creation. He knit you together in your mother’s womb. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothes? If God cares for the birds and flowers, he will surely care for you. Be joyful. Anyone who shines God’s love into the world is the the definition of beautiful. Learn to do things, learn about God, learn to see beauty and to feel pain and to be with people. Food is not meant to cause fear and worry.
But it continued like that until I finally went to the doctor. Just for a routine checkup. But since I hadn’t been in since I lost weight, I brought it up with the doctor. That’s when she realized that I was starving myself, and she told me to eat 1,800 calories a day. I felt my heart drop. I couldn’t do it. I would gain weight! I could almost feel the tears coming. It was too much.
Now looking back, I don’t know what I was afraid of. What would happen if I gained some weight? Would everyone hate me? Would I automatically go back to watching tv all day? No! I could never go back to the way I used to be just by eating the proper amount. The reason I was so unhealthy before was that I never moved, and ate all day.
I couldn’t do it. I started by increasing to 1,000, then 1,200 then 1,300. I am thankful now that I didn’t increase my calories all at once. If I had increased my calories all in one day, it would have caused even more problems with my hormones.
Amidst all the confusion about my body and eating, I was cast in the biggest theater role of my life. I went through that whole show eating 1,200 calories. And even though I realized how skinny I was getting, I was too scared to change; too scared I wouldn’t fit into my dress at opening show, and I continued the same way.
People finally started to realize something was wrong. Adults and friends at rehearsals started asking if I had eaten, and the director even told me I needed to eat more than usual to make sure I could perform well! I was thankful for their concern, but I thought I had it all under control! I didn’t.
I was still losing weight and I had yet to eat 1,800. Soon the show ended and I was 15 pounds lighter than when it started.
During this time, I tried so many different workout routines too. HIIT every day, heavy weights, running… and I became more and more strict with my diet. No dairy, no gluten, no red meat, no animal fat, only veggies and lean protein. It was too hard. I ate pretty much the same thing every day, and if anything changed I had an anxiety attack. If I ate to much of one food group, or didn’t get a good enough workout, the fear would overtake me so badly that I’d see no point in continuing on.
Nothing I did was enough.
After the show ended, I made it my New Year’s resolution to eat at least 1,800 calories. I was now 5 lbs above the underweight range for my height, but I started eating more. My doctor was worried, my mom was worried, and my friends were all worried too. Yes I was eating “enough” but my mind was in a very bad place.
I think I finally realized how bad it was when my mom told me that if all you think about is yourself, you will always be unhappy. That’s when it hit me. Everything I did was about me. Eating, exercising… all of it was for me. School, church, my life, had been set aside so I could eat and maintain my body weight. I wasn’t living. I was simply existing in this cycle day after day. I felt like I had no purpose. I would cry almost every night, and I felt far way from God, my past, and my future. It didn’t help that all this happened during the stormy winter months when I was stuck inside away from my friends.
But then one winter day, the sun came out. I stepped out the door into the warm light, and all my troubles and fears seemed insignificant. As I felt the sun, and heard the birds, all I knew was this: Jesus loves me. If I do his will, nothing will be wrong. That’s when I started to get a little better. I realized that I didn’t need to worry. God knew everything and he created me to do his will. He created me to enjoy his creations every day and tell the world about him.
That was part of the puzzle, but I still felt something missing. I was still only eating 1,800 calories a day and one day when I weighed myself it was the lowest it had ever been. I was underweight.
I was still very insecure, but not about being fat. Now it was about the opposite. I was so bony and thin. I was supposedly eating enough, but I craved more food! I was eating pure protein and veggies, but I felt hungry and I was still losing weight!
Then one night after eating dinner and still feeling empty inside, I messaged my doctor and told her how I was still losing weight. She told me to eat 2,000 calories! Yes I was scared, but I knew this was what I needed. There was nothing to fear. I needed to gain weight. I started eating 2,000 calories, but it was hard. I usually used processed “healthy foods” like protein powders and processed egg white wraps and creamers to get to that goal. I started snacking on these processed foods too. I would eat in between meals and soon I felt chained to the refrigerator. I just wanted more food! I felt like I was living purely to eat.
Every once in awhile I would get this nagging feeling that protein powder and the other processed foods were not the way to go.
The first time I heard the concept of eating what our ancestors ate was on the podcast Relatable with Allie Beth Stuckey. The guest on the show said to eat 3 meals a day, with animal fats, and veggies and unprocessed foods with the argument that so many of our health problems today didn’t exist before. The idea of eating butter, sausage, and cheese for breakfast seemed outlandish to me. That’s because when I thought of those foods, I pictured greasy, fried, fast, versions of these once nourishing foods.
I was believing the lie that culture had taught me. Fat is bad, meat is bad, plants are good. I had recently bought a vegan cookbook and had actually considered going vegan. It just made sense! Animals make people unhealthy. And plants make you healthy! Oils have unhealthy amounts of calories, and most Americans get “too much protein”. I didn’t realize that is all part of the scheme to make us eat more fast food and buy more processed, de-natured, and fake foods.
I started to do more research. One day, I stumbled upon the book “Nourishing Traditions” and I started to skim through the pages. I read how raw milk is good for you, and how bad vegetable oils are. How we need organ meats and animal fats to tap into our healthiest potential. How our ancestors ate and cooked wild food and ate all of it!
That’s when it clicked. It all make sense. God created us to eat the food he gave us! In its natural form! I started reading more on farming and raw milk and processing and nutrients. I read Deep Nutrition by Dr. Cate Shanahan. I started to discover the truth.
The reason I felt wrong every time I ate protein powder or processed foods is because they’re not real food! Real food was created by God. Grown in the ground. Animals eating their natural diet. Happy animals fed happy plants, fed to happy people. God made it all! God didn’t create protein powder! He created chickens, cows, carrots, potatoes, nuts, seeds and so many other nutrient dense foods for us to eat and be nourished!
That was the second missing piece. My body was craving nourishment. Even though I was no longer starving myself of calories, I was starving myself of nourishment!
I began the journey to live more sustainably, eat food closest to its natural source, and learn skills to help me do so.
Soon after diving into the world of Nourishing Traditions, one of my friends sent me a devotional. I truly believe this was God giving me the last piece of the puzzle. The first page of this devotional said in simple words something I never truly realized. I’d heard it said, but it had never sunk in.
I am not enough.
I can’t do anything. Eating healthier, exercising, being kind… even reading my Bible. It’s not enough. I am not enough, nor will I ever be.
Before I read that page, I was trying to be enough. Yes, I understood that I was a sinner and Jesus had saved me, but I didn’t understand that that was it. There was nothing else to it!
I didn’t understand that accepting that meant the end of trying to be enough. I had been trying to eat enough, do enough, say enough, be enough, but what I now understand is that none of it makes a difference in Jesus’s eyes. Nothing I do can add or subtract from what Jesus did for me on the cross. I’m saved. Period. I don’t need to do anything.
But what God wants for me is to follow his word.
In His word it says to tell the world about Jesus, take care of your body, and do his will. Not because you need to measure up, but because that’s what’s good for you! God wants to nourish you and show you the way!
It doesn’t even need to look a certain way. It could be going for a walk, skiing, playing frisbee, reading your bible, talking with friends. Just LIVE for Jesus.
Being held captive by your fears and insecurities, is not the purpose God has for you. Trying so hard every day to feel pushed after a workout and eating because you need to meet a calorie goal is not what God has for you.
Truly enjoying the food God made for us, and moving our bodies because we can; because it feels good and gives glory to Jesus! That’s what God wants for us!
Find joy in everything! Don’t make it about rules.
The same God who made our bodies gave us exactly what we need to nourish them.
I believe that eating meat and plants closest to the state God made them is the the best way to nourish your body. Allowing it to perform its healthy functions and help you live for Jesus every day! And added bonus, food this way tastes and feels better too!
I now feel a deeper connection to my future, and life, and God. How nourishing your body effects everyone connected to you. I eat for God, for my body, and for the future God has in store for me.
We need fats, we need fiber, we need protein, we need to NOURISH ourselves so we can be healthy and grow! There’s so much more to life than looking a certain way. There’s a whole world of people and plants and animals, future, past and God’s greater plan for salvation!
Now, I eat delicious and nourishing foods every single day! I feel better than I have ever felt!
About this blog
Here’s where you come in! If you desire to nourish your body and learn to love food like I have, this is your place! I’m here to share with you my tips, recipes, and other fun stuff to help you feel nourished! Simple, stress free, and fun!
